10 To-Do Items Before Eating at the Heart Attack Grill

Written on January 7, 2010 – 8:35 am | by Admin

There are some obvious preparations before eating at the Heart Attack Grill - You know…there are the no brainers like fasting for a week, wearing loose clothing, and making sure your insurance card is in your wallet. But also be sure to complete these 10 to-do items before pounding down your next quadruple bypass burger.

1. Give your mother a dozen roses and tell her you love her. Farewells to other friends and family would also be appropriate.

2. Remember to take your blood pressure and/or cholesterol medication. You won’t stand a chance without your Zocor!

3. Bring a yak bucket and keep in your car for the ride home. You never know.

4. Get a complete physical done by your doctor along with labwork so your good health is well documented, which will give your family good grounds to sue when you stroke out.

5. Make love on a train. Smoke a cigar or cigarette after. No sense in worrying about getting addicted.

6. Write your will. A trust would be even better because a will doesn’t avoid probate.

7. Wear new pairs of socks and underwear. You’ll impress the heck out of the nurses at the hospital.

8. Skydive. What have you got to lose?

9. Make peace with God. (And don’t blow it by staring at the hot nurses at the Grill)

10. Purchase a big life insurance policy. I recommend at least a $1 Million death benefit to help your wife with paying the mortgage, raising your children and putting them through college, and to replace your income. You can get a quote in the box to the right.

We love you Heart Attack Grill! Just kidding about #4. Not kidding about the rest.

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